Needs of the Victim
Though there is help available...sadly much of it is substandard in my opinion, meeting only the immediate goal of emergency care and shelter...not assisting with life skills (balancing a checkbook, basic car maintenance, budgeting etc...) employment, medical and dental care, mental and emotional issues for both the adult and the children, legal assistance...and so on.
The needs of women leaving an abusive situation are not being addressed as well as they could be. Often when a woman is finally ready to leave she loses any financial stability she might have had by remaining in the marriage. She most likely has left with nothing more than the clothes on her back…and her children. She usually must even leave her pets behind. She has to start over, often from scratch. She remains a victim.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that emergency shelters are necessary and oftentimes the only alternative a woman has when she is in danger. BUT, having worked in one in Arizona, I realize they leave a lot to be desired. I know that this is usually due to the shelters being crowded and the workers being overtaxed, working without enough money or support from the community at large.
A woman coming from an abusive situation needs support and immediate help getting her feet planted once more in the real world. Sadly what she finds, by going in to a shelter, is that she has relinquished the control that her partner had over her to the people running the shelter. They now tell her when and where she can come or go, who she can see or even who she can talk to on the phone.
She finds herself with only these workers as her immediate support system, at a time when she is looking at changing her (and often her children’s) life completely. She finds herself filling out forms for public assistance, often something she has never been involved with in the past. She finds her children in new schools, many times in areas that are inferior to the schools they were in when they lived as a family.
If she is “on the run” meaning she has left and wants to remain hidden because of the violence, she finds herself dependent on others for her transportation needs and her safety, and that of her children. Orders of Protection can be requested from the court system but frequently there must be an established paper trail, reports she has filed against her abuser, calls that have been made to the police, before she can get one and though she may think herself safe with that order, she finds it is only a piece of paper.
Fears for her own survival (finding employment or schooling, getting the required medical and financial assistance etc…) lead her, in the quiet, nighttime hours as she lies in a shelter bed, to question herself. Many times she decides that leaving was too big a step, that the abuse wasn’t THAT bad and she decides to go back. Statistics say that a woman will leave an abuser at an average of 9 times before she leaves for good, either because the abuse has finally become intolerable, she has ended up in a hospital, her children or pets have been abused…or she is dead at the hands of the abuser.
Some progressive steps are being made in the assistance being offered to victims of abuse. One of these that look truly promising is a program in Indiana called Inspirations of Hamilton County, Inc. http://www.inspirationsinc.us/ProgramsandServices.asp started by a domestic violence survivor who personally saw the needs of the victim. Linda Crissman, who is also the Executive Director of this wonderful program, is finding new and innovative ways to assist other victims on their way to a new life. Please read her story here: http://www.inspirationsinc.us/HistoryofInspirations.asp
These are the types of services we need more of in the US.
© 2007 Connie Roush All Rights Reserved.
The needs of women leaving an abusive situation are not being addressed as well as they could be. Often when a woman is finally ready to leave she loses any financial stability she might have had by remaining in the marriage. She most likely has left with nothing more than the clothes on her back…and her children. She usually must even leave her pets behind. She has to start over, often from scratch. She remains a victim.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that emergency shelters are necessary and oftentimes the only alternative a woman has when she is in danger. BUT, having worked in one in Arizona, I realize they leave a lot to be desired. I know that this is usually due to the shelters being crowded and the workers being overtaxed, working without enough money or support from the community at large.
A woman coming from an abusive situation needs support and immediate help getting her feet planted once more in the real world. Sadly what she finds, by going in to a shelter, is that she has relinquished the control that her partner had over her to the people running the shelter. They now tell her when and where she can come or go, who she can see or even who she can talk to on the phone.
She finds herself with only these workers as her immediate support system, at a time when she is looking at changing her (and often her children’s) life completely. She finds herself filling out forms for public assistance, often something she has never been involved with in the past. She finds her children in new schools, many times in areas that are inferior to the schools they were in when they lived as a family.
If she is “on the run” meaning she has left and wants to remain hidden because of the violence, she finds herself dependent on others for her transportation needs and her safety, and that of her children. Orders of Protection can be requested from the court system but frequently there must be an established paper trail, reports she has filed against her abuser, calls that have been made to the police, before she can get one and though she may think herself safe with that order, she finds it is only a piece of paper.
Fears for her own survival (finding employment or schooling, getting the required medical and financial assistance etc…) lead her, in the quiet, nighttime hours as she lies in a shelter bed, to question herself. Many times she decides that leaving was too big a step, that the abuse wasn’t THAT bad and she decides to go back. Statistics say that a woman will leave an abuser at an average of 9 times before she leaves for good, either because the abuse has finally become intolerable, she has ended up in a hospital, her children or pets have been abused…or she is dead at the hands of the abuser.
Some progressive steps are being made in the assistance being offered to victims of abuse. One of these that look truly promising is a program in Indiana called Inspirations of Hamilton County, Inc. http://www.inspirationsinc.us/ProgramsandServices.asp started by a domestic violence survivor who personally saw the needs of the victim. Linda Crissman, who is also the Executive Director of this wonderful program, is finding new and innovative ways to assist other victims on their way to a new life. Please read her story here: http://www.inspirationsinc.us/HistoryofInspirations.asp
These are the types of services we need more of in the US.
© 2007 Connie Roush All Rights Reserved.
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