Emotional Abuse or Am I Being Abused?
Many women are unclear about the true definition of abuse. Sadly many women are not sure if they are being abused, saying their significant other never hits them. They know that if their partner is hitting them, they are being abused.
What about the woman who is being called names or being put down in front of her children or friends and family? Is she being abused?
How about the woman who takes calls either at work or at home from her partner who is "just checking up" on her several times a day?
How about the woman whose partner gets upset and doesn't talk to her sometimes for days on end, often not even explaining why he's not talking?
How about the woman that gets tickled by a partner until she can't breathe or is in tears? Is she being abused?
Sadly, all of these actions on the part of a spouse or significant other fall into the realm of abuse or domestic violence.
Abuse is often broken down into 3 categories; emotional, sexual or physical. Although physical abuse is seen as the dominant definition of domestic violence or partner abuse, all three can often be found in an abusive relationship and any one of these can have severe consequences on the relationship and the mental or physical health of the abused partner, as well as any children that are also in the home.
Emotional Abuse consists of, but is not limited to:
No one deserves to be treated this way, whether she is being physically assaulted or not. A partner does not have the right to destroy self-esteem or the right to make his significant other feel less a person or an equal in the relationship. This is not the way a loving person acts toward a spouse.
The hardest thing to get across to women in an emotionally abusive relationship is that abuse escalates. It doesn't stop. It doesn't get better. It doesn't go away. Once a man has found that he can emotionally and verbally abuse his partner, he feels strong and in control. Abuse is all about control.
Any woman experiencing anything from the above list needs to learn to protect herself and her children. She needs to seek outside help, from a trusted friend, a doctor or a minister. She needs someone to talk to who will listen and believe her, not minimize what she is going though or what she is feeling.
She needs to make some changes at this level before the abuse escalates, before it becomes sexual or physical, before she ends up battered or worse...maimed or dead.
© 2007 Connie Roush All Rights Reserved.
What about the woman who is being called names or being put down in front of her children or friends and family? Is she being abused?
How about the woman who takes calls either at work or at home from her partner who is "just checking up" on her several times a day?
How about the woman whose partner gets upset and doesn't talk to her sometimes for days on end, often not even explaining why he's not talking?
How about the woman that gets tickled by a partner until she can't breathe or is in tears? Is she being abused?
Sadly, all of these actions on the part of a spouse or significant other fall into the realm of abuse or domestic violence.
Abuse is often broken down into 3 categories; emotional, sexual or physical. Although physical abuse is seen as the dominant definition of domestic violence or partner abuse, all three can often be found in an abusive relationship and any one of these can have severe consequences on the relationship and the mental or physical health of the abused partner, as well as any children that are also in the home.
Emotional Abuse consists of, but is not limited to:
- Continuous criticism (Examples: She never does anything right. Her cooking is bad.)
- Yelling or insulting comments (Examples: She's fat. Unfavorable verbal comparisons to other women.)
- Ignoring her feelings, ridiculing her (Example: She's over-reacting.)
- Withholding affection as punishment
- Refusing to work and/or working sporadically
- Keeping her from working
- Manipulating her (Example: If you loved me...)
- Insulting her family and friends
- Refusing to socialize with her
- Preventing her from making contact with family and friends
- Keeping her from using the telephone
- Controlling the money and making all financial decisions
- Humiliating her in public
- Harassing her at her place of employment
- Threatening to leave
- Threatening to throw her out of the house
- Threatening to take her children
- Threatening her pets
- Breaking things that are important to her such as heirlooms
- Throwing things or hitting walls when angry
- Stalking (Although a physical act that may escalate into violence, it is often used as a way to emotionally intimidate the victim.)
No one deserves to be treated this way, whether she is being physically assaulted or not. A partner does not have the right to destroy self-esteem or the right to make his significant other feel less a person or an equal in the relationship. This is not the way a loving person acts toward a spouse.
The hardest thing to get across to women in an emotionally abusive relationship is that abuse escalates. It doesn't stop. It doesn't get better. It doesn't go away. Once a man has found that he can emotionally and verbally abuse his partner, he feels strong and in control. Abuse is all about control.
Any woman experiencing anything from the above list needs to learn to protect herself and her children. She needs to seek outside help, from a trusted friend, a doctor or a minister. She needs someone to talk to who will listen and believe her, not minimize what she is going though or what she is feeling.
She needs to make some changes at this level before the abuse escalates, before it becomes sexual or physical, before she ends up battered or worse...maimed or dead.
© 2007 Connie Roush All Rights Reserved.
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