So...Why Won't She Leave Him?
There are probably as many reasons a woman stays in an abusive relationship as there are domestic violence cases but a few seem to keep resurfacing.
1.She loves him. (Actually she loves the man she married or the man he was and hopes he will eventually become that man again. She often thinks that if he was less stressed, or she was a better partner she would get the man she married back.. Sadly, this is never the case.)
2.She's afraid to be alone.(Her self-esteem may be so low that she fears no one else will ever want her. He has often told her she is undesirable for any number of reasons, and she now fears he may be right.)
3.She's ashamed.(She doesn't want anyone to know what is happening in her home. She has been keeping the secrets too long.)
4.She has financial worries.(Often she is reliant on his income and insurance and wonders if she can support herself and her children.)
5.She is terrified.(She is afraid he will find her and things will get even worse.)
These are probably the top 5 reasons a woman will stay in an abusive relationship and all are valid. They are very real fears, BUT...there are alternatives and there is help out there.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) has a list of organizations arranged by state that can help. (See "Information and Help" to the left for link.)
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook offers a lot of good information on how to access legal assistance. (See "Information and Help" to the left for link.)
Rural Assistance Center has links to places that make funds available to women in crisis. (See "Information and Help" to the left for link.)
The R.O.S.E (Regaining One's Self Esteem)Fund has programs available for reconstructive surgery, a cooking and nutrition workshop and scholarships. (See "Information and Help" to the left for link.)
Inspirations of Hamilton County, Inc.in Indiana has a unique program assisting women in getting employment training and education, giving them free professional clothing and household items, helping them to get set up with financial assistance and housing. (See "Information and Help" to the left for link.)
(I would like to see more programs like this one.)
There is an abundance of information and assistance programs in every state. I know it's hard to leave. It took me almost 15 years, but it can be done and things do look brighter once you can again raise your head and be yourself with no fear of violence.
Domestic Violence doesn't get better. It won't go away no matter how long a woman stays, oftentimes it will just get worse. He will never again become the man you married. That man is dead. He is now an abuser and a criminal. Remember abuse is a crime.
An abuser abuses and a victim is NOT to blame.
1.She loves him. (Actually she loves the man she married or the man he was and hopes he will eventually become that man again. She often thinks that if he was less stressed, or she was a better partner she would get the man she married back.. Sadly, this is never the case.)
2.She's afraid to be alone.(Her self-esteem may be so low that she fears no one else will ever want her. He has often told her she is undesirable for any number of reasons, and she now fears he may be right.)
3.She's ashamed.(She doesn't want anyone to know what is happening in her home. She has been keeping the secrets too long.)
4.She has financial worries.(Often she is reliant on his income and insurance and wonders if she can support herself and her children.)
5.She is terrified.(She is afraid he will find her and things will get even worse.)
These are probably the top 5 reasons a woman will stay in an abusive relationship and all are valid. They are very real fears, BUT...there are alternatives and there is help out there.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) has a list of organizations arranged by state that can help. (See "Information and Help" to the left for link.)
Domestic Violence Information and Referral Handbook offers a lot of good information on how to access legal assistance. (See "Information and Help" to the left for link.)
Rural Assistance Center has links to places that make funds available to women in crisis. (See "Information and Help" to the left for link.)
The R.O.S.E (Regaining One's Self Esteem)Fund has programs available for reconstructive surgery, a cooking and nutrition workshop and scholarships. (See "Information and Help" to the left for link.)
Inspirations of Hamilton County, Inc.in Indiana has a unique program assisting women in getting employment training and education, giving them free professional clothing and household items, helping them to get set up with financial assistance and housing. (See "Information and Help" to the left for link.)
(I would like to see more programs like this one.)
There is an abundance of information and assistance programs in every state. I know it's hard to leave. It took me almost 15 years, but it can be done and things do look brighter once you can again raise your head and be yourself with no fear of violence.
Domestic Violence doesn't get better. It won't go away no matter how long a woman stays, oftentimes it will just get worse. He will never again become the man you married. That man is dead. He is now an abuser and a criminal. Remember abuse is a crime.
An abuser abuses and a victim is NOT to blame.
Comments
Connie
its UncleMike from ULC tribal.
great blogs, what else would you expext?
keep it up
Love your
UncleMike
Until she reaches the place where she has had enough...nothing will make her leave. Sadly, she may never reach that place.
I know you care for her but my advice is to take care of yourself first. An ultimatum often helps. Give her a time frame and stick to it. If she doesn't leave by then, you may be hanging on forever...and that's not fair to you.
I'm here if you need a friend.
Loving Blessings,
Connie